Magical moments from wedding speeches people will never forget (18 Photos)

1

“Ian said that if I did a good job tonight I could be the best man at his next wedding”.

krs_1

2

My Wife’s best friend/Maid of Honor called me the wrong name in her toast… the name she called out…. my wife’s ex-boyfriend….

Moto341

3

Best Man: “And now that you’re a married man, I think we should make an agreement. I’ll stop hitting on your sister if you’ll stop hitting on my mom.”

Groom shoots out of his seat and yells, “Not a chance in hell!”

kbax

4

I shoot a lot of weddings, but the best one I heard was “Well, she’s moving in with Dave now, so it looks like all the ladies will have to give up their keys to your place.” Silence. “Ladies, I’m not kidding… give them up”. Every woman in the place gets up, walks to the head table, and drops a key in front of him.

The last one was a very old family friend who, with her back to everyone, opens her blouse and flashes the guy. It ends up, she was wearing a shirt underneath that said “Everyone thinks I’m flashing you right now”.

Luxowell

5

I saw a groom’s brother say, “I always knew you would find the best wife” in front of three other sisters in law.

[deleted]

6

My best man started with: “Fornication. …[silence]… cough …Forni-… cough … FOR-AN-OCCASION, such as this, I like to start with a joke.”

Laughs all around.

capnd

7

At a friend’s wedding and her husband was some crewman on a submarine. Some of the guys read out some letters for people who couldn’t make it. His captain said “seaman. Report depth and position at 0200 hours!”

Anonymous

8

My sister got married in a small Canadian Mennonite community. The groom’s best man, Josh, was black. Josh started off his speech by saying “I’m Josh, the one you have been staring at all day”. Everybody laughed so hard.

doft

9

Bride and groom speech at the end of the night. Bride gets teary-eyed talking about her mom, hands the speech paper to the groom…

Groom (reading the next line): I wish I could be half the wife and mother that you are.

JVM_

10

After the best man ended his speech with “And I hope all your ups and downs are between the bed sheets.” our pastor said “I hope some of your ups and downs are in the church pews”.

Rijonkulous

11

Two of my best friends got married about a month ago. Another friend of mine gave the opening speech at the reception and began with this line: “A wise man once said, love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably poop…”

After the crowd was done laughing hysterically, he somehow found a way to make the quote heartwarmingly relevant to their relationship.

Anonymous

12

My brother began his speech as the best man, “I’d like to make a toast…” then pulled out a toaster. Only the groom and I laughed but that’s who the speech is for, anyway, right?

lesbian_sourfruit

13

A friend of mine took a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket and began to read, “Sodomy is defined by Websters as . . . .” then paused and said, “Oh! Sorry! Wrong speech.” folded it up, stuffed it in his pocket, took out his real speech and began. The bride was furious! She later approached my friend and shouted, “You said ‘Sodomy’ on my wedding video!?!

MisterCanoeHead

14

My ex-brother-in-law opened with:

“I was nervous about this speech so I just prepared a few lines. After snorting them, I got to work with the writing”, or words to that effect. I think I was the only person laughing.

watermelon101

15

“Being asked to serve as best man is a bit like being asked to make love to the Queen. It’s an incredible honor, but no one wants to do it”.

sniffles_snort

16

I was the best man at my buddy’s wedding this summer. I closed with “A lot of you don’t know me but I’ve spent my time in college studying mathematics, specifically the field of statistics. I want you guys to look each other in the eyes. You are now looking at the person who, statistically speaking, is most likely to murder you.”

youarentbenjamin

17

My cousin’s wedding was on June 20th. Her dad’s opening line: “As you know, today is the summer solstice, which means it’s the longest day of the year – but don’t forget this important piece of information!

(a few seconds pause)

It’s also the shortest night”.

Best awkward hilarious opening line ever made by a father at his daughter’s wedding

Anonymous

18

Me and [groom] have been friends for a long time, but he had some trouble finding a best man. He first asked his richest friend to be his best man, but he said no. Then he asked his funniest friend to be his best man, but he said no. He then asked his best-looking friend to be the best man but even he said no.

Then he asked me and after turning him down the first three times…I couldn’t refuse again.”

Ghoom