‘Is this a parody?’: Conservative Member of Parliament wants to add a GPS tracker to *EVERY* knife sold in the UK

Scott Mann, who is a Conservative Member of Parliament who represents North Cornwall, UK in the House of Commons has an idea on how to finally stop knife crime: GPS trackers in “every knife sold,” with an exception for fishing, of course:
Every knife sold in the UK should have a gps tracker fitted in the handle. It’s time we had a national database like we do with guns. If you’re carrying it around you had better have a bloody good explanation, obvious exemptions for fishing etc.

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No, apparently it’s not a parody:
Pretty much:

And how exactly would this work once a knife crime was committed?
"There's been a stabbing"
"Quick, get me the GPS tracking for every knife in a 3 mile radius"
"OK, it says there are 120,000 of them, mostly in kitchens"
"Bollocks, thought we had them then"
"Could ask those young lads with the machete"
"Nah, they've got a mackerel, been fishing"
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This is the future they want:
Not to mention the cost of this future:
Yeah, it’ll be great when buying cutlery costs £800 a set because some dweeb wants them to include a sat nav in the handle. Fix up immediately.
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Or maybe just put a chip in the really dangerous knives:
Next step:

‘Is this a parody?’: Conservative Member of Parliament wants to add a GPS tracker to *EVERY* knife sold in the UK ‘Is this a parody?’: Conservative Member of Parliament wants to add a GPS tracker to *EVERY* knife sold in the UK Reviewed by CUZZ BLUE on March 14, 2019 Rating: 5

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